Life Beyond the Empty Nest

As a mother of three, with two already out building their successful, happy lives and a countdown of three years until my youngest takes flight, I'm really feeling the shift. This phase is bittersweet as It's a mix of excitement for what's next and a bit of sadness when I think back to the days of non-stop activity and little voices calling out for "mommy." Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the term "empty nest syndrome." It's a phrase that seems to highlight sadness and loneliness. "Empty",  just sounds so bleak while the word syndrome suggests this natural life transition is a condition needing treatment, painting a picture that is inherently negative and pathologizing what is essentially a universal human experience.

As I look ahead, I'm determined to see this not as a chapter closing but as the start of something filled with possibilities. This shift isn't about ignoring the real emotions that come with change—like sadness or a sense of loss. Instead, it's about seeing this time as a chance for personal growth and new adventures.

For many parents, so much of our identity is wrapped up in raising our kids. We invest deeply in nurturing and guiding them, which is why it can feel like a part of us is missing when they move on. But really, this is the sign of a job well done. Raising independent adults who venture out to make their own way in the world shouldn't be seen as an end—it's a fresh and exciting beginning for us too.

This next chapter isn't about emptiness; it's about space—space that's opened up for new opportunities, for growth, and for deepening the relationship with your adult children. It's a chance to see who they become as adults, to relate to them on a new level, and just as importantly, to rediscover who you are. This phase allows you to explore interests that were set aside and rekindle passions that were paused.

Single parents might feel the transition more acutely, facing the quiet after years of single-handedly filling their homes with life and activity. It's important for single parents to actively seek out new communities and support systems during this transition. Embracing activities that were set aside or finding new hobbies can help fill the reclaimed space with joy and fulfillment.

Moving Beyond 'Empty' and 'Syndrome'

• Reclaiming Space: The term 'empty' often suggests loss, yet this phase can better be described as reclaiming space—physical, emotional, and personal. This reclaimed space offers new freedoms and opportunities to explore interests and passions that were paused during the years of active parenting.
• From Syndrome to Season: Describing this transition as a 'syndrome' can be misleading. It's not a disorder but a new season of life. Recognizing it as such can transform our approach, allowing us to celebrate it as a milestone of successful parenting—our children have grown into independence, a sign of their readiness to take on the world.
• Cultivating New Relationships: This period also allows for the cultivation of new kinds of relationships with adult children. As they grow and learn about themselves, so can you. It’s a mutual journey of discovery that can bring you closer, offering a chance to bond over adult experiences and insights.

Tips for Embracing This New Journey:

• Explore and Expand: Dive into activities that you might have put on hold. Whether it's travel, education, or art, now is the time to explore and expand your horizons.
• Connect Deeply: Deepen your connections with friends, explore new relationships, or engage more deeply in your community. These connections can offer support and new experiences.
• Embrace Change: Approach this change with optimism. While it’s a significant adjustment, it’s also a rare opportunity to rediscover yourself and embark on adventures that were not possible before.
• Seek Fulfillment: Look for fulfillment in new ventures. This might mean a new career, volunteering, or taking on roles that you haven't before, like mentoring others in your community or profession.



As we navigate this significant life transition, let’s shift our perspective from viewing it as a loss ('empty') and a condition ('syndrome') to seeing it as a rich opportunity for growth and renewal.

Just because your nest has cleared, it doesn’t mean you have to stay in it! It’s time to spread your wings too!